Reflecting on the “emotional wellness” of America for 2017
This blog is not like any blog I have done to date. But at the ending of 2017 I felt a need to look back so we don’t make the same mistakes we have this year in future years. If you don’t like what you are reading – you have my permission to stop reading and empower yourself to read something you find more suitable. I make no apologies for this blog. I work with predators, abusers, narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, sexual abusers/addicts, etc. and know these personality types well. I also work with the victims of these sick individuals and have strong feelings about both which you will see in this blog. This is my perspective of this year recapped based on professional experience and life experience and as a fellow member of this world.
So much has happened this year with start of the election of a new President who took office. This year has had its ups and downs emotionally, politically, sexually, and universally because of him. Huge political upheaval began because of a President who is a malignant narcissist, with ego fragidity, who surrounds himself with claquers. Our President has set a tone for our country that has anger as its theme, bullying against anyone who disagrees, and dislike for anyone who doesn’t look like him; along with a lack of empathy and care for peoples of not only our country but countries he “picks on” because he feels justified and entitled in his power and control behaviors and attitudes to be unkind. He not only fits the description of an abuser – he is one!!! So why am I bringing this up in a blog that should be reflecting on our personal growth in 2017? Well I am going to bring up personal growth. Just not in the normal “ra ra ra” fashion but instead in “reality” fashion. No one has impacted our lives more than this President and his negative leadership and business model – his divide and conquer those you can and then lie about the rest in hopes that people will believe you philosophy is toxic. He is the most “lying” President we have ever had research shows. Yet he is unapologetic and continues to expound on his “wonderfulness”- “greatness” and “brilliance” – tweeting and publicly stating, “I have done more than any other President in the one year of my office than any other President…” That is so very true but not in the way he wants us to believe. He has done more lying, more destruction, more misogyny, more sexual inappropriateness in relationships with women, more prejudicial behavior/attitudes towards others of color, more narcissism, more political wreckage with other countries, and on and on. The one thing he is honest about is that he has certainly “done more” in those areas in one year to destroy our relationships than any other President in our history.
I mentioned this President has ego fragidity. What is ego fragidity – Dr. Jeremy Sherman states that it is when we get hyper-vigilant against attacks, challenges, feedback or questions. We get prickly and rigid, insistent that we’re on top of things, precisely because we’re not. To those around us it can look like the height of arrogance but it’s actually vulnerability. We don’t think more of ourselves, but less and are grasping for the self-certainty we’ve lost. Fragidity is the opposite of resilience and adaptiveness.
I also mentioned he surrounds himself with claquers. What is a claque – an organized body of professional applauders. You see this in his cabinet and with the Speaker of the House. We have seen in news reports his cabinet “claqueing”; when he got the tax bill passed we were given a sickening dose of claquers as they praised the President every 3 seconds in their speech’s and kept telling him (and us) how magnificent he is, etc. A very sad show of what we have in leadership in our country today.
So let’s get to what all of this has done for us and to us. It has divided our country like never before. It has brought racism to a frothy top. It has made misogynistic behavior acceptable to many. It has made lying a normal part of everyday Presidential reporting. It has made bullying acceptable. And we can go on and on but I don’t want our focus to be just this negativity. I also want to focus on some of the good things of this has given us this past year.
Because of the above mentioned negative behaviors we have become united in voicing our resistance to such negativity. Women have come forward with their strength of voice and numbers in calling out sexual inappropriateness they have experienced for generations. We have called a “predator” a “predator”; as a country and have united to let other countries know we are not all “ugly Americans”; we have joined each other in helping our fellow citizens in recovery efforts from devastating fires and hurricanes. We have shown our humanity and love for others because our government has failed in doing that. We have stood side by side with those of color and different faiths to show solidarity in our country and truly being the land of the “free” where all are welcome. We have shouted out “No More” on abusive themes that are not morally or ethically sound. We have shown ourselves to be a country, community and person allowing diversity to be an asset and not a hindrance. We have risen to the top of our best qualities and shown that despite our leadership of negativity – we, the people, are better than it is. We are people united in keeping our country a land of the free and not the land of an attempted dictatorship.
We are more powerful than one man in the President role. We can vote you out, we can hold you accountable, we can ensure consequences, and we can also show our humanity when it is needed.
So the year 2017 has shown us that when we look ourselves directly into the face, we are more than what we are being led to believe. We are strong, we are resilient, we are important, we are love, we are friends, we are community and yes, we are Americans who love other Americans. But most of all we are a country that is united in our desire to be the best every day and have been as we rise to keep it that way. We don’t need to be “Making America Great Again” as we never stopped being great. When we are deceived we shout truth and accountability. When we are told “fake news” we know “honest truth” and that when our leadership says “I am the greatest ever” that we stand and show that the greatest ever is the people of our country, not one leader.
My wish and desire for 2018 is that we learn to never vote in a malignant narcissist again into a Presidential office. That we love each other and keep that love central in our lives and in our country. That we CHOOSE truth and have broken systems made healthy. That we stay advocates against narcissism and abuse. We can do this because we are a people of strength, purpose, integrity. Stay strong. Stay healthy.
Stay and live in love. May 2018 be the best ever for each of us because we have learned from 2017!